Need sex. Gaining weight.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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