I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
