he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
