Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
