I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
