He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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