You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize