do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
