You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
