is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He passed out mid-signature
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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