Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
we should paint friendship bongs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
