wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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