btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
