Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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