Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
