dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
