Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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