this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
