it's like iHOP with fire
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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