what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
