You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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