I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
