i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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