I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
