May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
