can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
