Kiss
Puke
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
