Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
