never play flip cup with pint glasses
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
