He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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