lets start a swedish sibling band together
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
