my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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