i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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