We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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