this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
