Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
