Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
how does that bad decision feel?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
