party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
