Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
