my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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