how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
