as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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