remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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