If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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