I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Randomize
