An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
