remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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