i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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