She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
