And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
