In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
