Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just cropdusted the office
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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