You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
