walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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