This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
