I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
