i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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