imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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