he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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