And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I looked at my own cervix.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
