Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
