Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
