angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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