would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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