her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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