Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
