4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
