is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
